The Enemy Within...

There are two classes of people that can never date me: thieves and men in uniform. Those people hate me. Probably because, although I can keep secrets, I'm very chaotic😂.

In 2018/2019, my friend was dating a guy from Kabsabet. She was stupidly in love. I would ask this lady what her man did and she would give different answers daily. On Monday, the guy would be a cashier in a supermarket, Tuesday he'll be a PSV driver, Wednesday he'd be a marketer, Thursday he'd be a nail technician etc. This lady was a horrible liar. 

I used to join dots dai
ly and started suspecting that he was either a conman or a thief. All his jobs, or probably most, were only night shifts. She kept saying her boyfriend loves night shifts because the nights have less pressure. All the jobs she mentioned don't have a gross salary of over 30K but this man was loaded. His house had the latest and big electronics, he had a car and he was heavily loaded on most occasions. 

The guy and I hated each other. He claimed I'm too loud and he wasn't comfortable in my company. I also hated everything about him, including how controlling he was towards my friend, I always thought he would beat her one day. My friend and I are inseparable until date, we go everywhere together, even while visiting our enemies. 

Jackie had a habit of doing his laundry whenever she visited. There were days that his clothes would be soaked in blood, he would come back with injuries, he would claim his friends were arrested after they left work and other stupid stories. All these stories joined, can even make a six-year-old know this guy was a thief. 

My friend would deny these allegations and claim that Kapsabet is just insecure and her boyfriend has bad luck with robbers. But if I may ask, do customer care leave work with blood stained clothes? Do they beat you at work that you come back with injuries? I knew for a fact that this guy was a thief. 

We would fall out a couple of times and I would ask him to change his ways because a bullet will hit his head and I would rejoice. He would brag that nothing will happen to him, and if a bullet was to hit someone's head, it would be mine. We would end our arguments with prayers on God to take one of us. 

Most of the time I would pray in front of him, “God, take this one. As a nation, we're tired of him. Dear God, if a bullet won't be used on him, let him die accidentally.”

And at times I would ask him, “Are you still breathing? What are the police doing in Kenya? Why can't they deal with you? I would join the forces with the aim of finishing you only.”

The two of us hated each other but we would still meet by default because Jackie was my roommate so when he came to pick her to go out, we would argue until my friend silenced us. He would remind me that a bullet will hit my head because I'm too chaotic. I used to tell him that no sane police will use a bullet on me, in fact they're used to chaotic women. If someone were to use a bullet on me, it would be him. I would finish by daring him to try. Occasionally I'm courageous when angry…

After Jackie knew that she couldn't convince me anymore that her boyfriend is employed, she opened up and told me that he was a carjacker. He was also armed. Where they got the guns? I don't know. There were several times that I would hear my friend convincing him to quit his criminal ways and he would assure her that he would. I knew it was a lie. This man loved quick money, he couldn't change that quick. It's like dating me and convincing me to quit writing…is it possible? I used to tell my friend to dump that idiot but she would defend him by saying that he would change with time. Which time? 

Have you hated someone to a point of losing your appetite when they find you eating? Our hatred was public. Our prayers of death were public too. Numerous times he would remind me that a bullet would shut me up. I would also remind him that a bullet belonging to the government would also shut him up. 

There was an AP from Kapsabet police station who had an eye on me. I told him that if he can't finish this man, me and him won't date. I would tell his friends too. I would remind them that the reason I will never date him, was that he didn't want to finish this thief. He would remind me that there were many officers in the area and they would do their job. I would not hear any of it. I was focused on the prize. 

One beautiful morning, we received a phone call that there were armed robbers who were shot dead. Among them was this idiot. When my friend confirmed his body, I consoled her while secretly rejoicing. I was crying with her but my spirit was ululating. I was happy. 

The only problem is that they used one bullet on him, instead of three.